In His Time

In His Time

I am not sure about you but I often ask and have been asked where is God in all of this. It is even more frustrated when people used to tell me “In His Time”. Do you get those too?

Some of us even question the existence of God or even this higher power – universe, the force, and whatever name you give to this great invisible being.

Everyone experiences God differently. Some more intuned than others but if you are paying attention and being mindful, you will realize that He is ever present. There are those subtle moments that you will find this connection.

As such, it is impossible to impose one’s faith and beliefs on others because this relationship between you and the Almighty is just that profound and personal.

Here is my most recent experience that I would like to share.

Some of you on facebook may have noticed that for the past 8 years, I have been living a so called “high flying life”. Though I have been constantly reminding myself to be grounded knowing that everything that is good will come to and end, there were times that I lost myself in certain situations because I was doing well and the ego got the best of me. Nonetheless, I enjoyed all the travels and accolades. I have achieved a lot and I didn’t want it to end.

And then life got a little comfortable and complacent.

Out of nowhere, the world that I have built around my career crumbled like how I would have not hoped for but know can be possible.

I thought it was time for a change. I wanted to get back onto the cockpit of my life and regain control.

Around this time last year, I left the new job I thought was a good fit and my life was back in shambles. I have hoped for an Easter that marks a great victory.

Easter 2019 came and gone, no job in sight.

“He had put down the mighty from their thrones, and exalted the lowly” ~ Luke 1:52

I do not believe in a God that punishes because it contradicts Himself of being a loving God if He did.

He is a God who moulds and keeps strengthening us through seeking answers to questions and solutions to problems.

Then, people rallied around me and after a few months, I was back in my previous company with a new role. It was a struggle for me because it is a deskbound job. For the last 8 years my mind has conditioned my ego to believe that it is prestigious to be traveling around the world and anything less is me shortchanging myself.

I quickly learned the ropes and delivered since day one like I have always did in my previous roles. While still feeling very depressed fighting against my ego, I was able to pull myself through.

It has been 8 months since I last returned and still growing into my new role but Covid-19 has given me a new perspective in life spiritually.

There were frustrating days that I constantly ask myself why have I lost “everything” that I worked for in the past 8 years.

But now looking back, I truly understand that in situations where I have no control, God was in full control. In all of this, I realize why I am deskbound and no longer fly around for my job.

It is like God smiling at me saying, “Hey buddy, now you know why I blessed you with this job?”

He did not only kept me from harm’s way, He eliminated the risk of me traveling around the region and getting not only myself sick but also keeping those around me safe.

And I don’t mean that it is 100% that I will never get Covid-19 but as far as my faith and beliefs tell me, He has kept me safe thus far. Anything beyond that would be my own doing.

So, does it take a huge event to shake us up and make us realize what we have taken for granted in the past?

We live in a time of great distractions and disruptions.

If we ever pause just for a little while and be a little more mindful, all of us have this connection to the divine.

If I come across as babbling and sounding all “hallelujah” to you, I can totally relate and understand.

There will come a time when you too will feel this connection to the divine and have that “aha!” moment.

In His Time….

The SPEAR Leadership Method

We are currently living in a very challenging time. Most countries have declared an emergency to flatten the curve of Covid-19 and most people are staying home. We cannot really say that business is as usual. This is unprecedented and uncharted territory. I reflected how things should be for organizations. How should leaders navigate through this difficult landscape?

My mind brought me back to better times when I was working for an amazing leader.



I handed this Luke Skywalker action figure to Bossman during one of his visits and said, “I thought it will be cool that you have your own action figure”. That’s just because he likes using Star Wars analogies to describe some organizational situations. Needless to say, he likes seeing himself as Luke Skywalker. As for me, I used to be R2D2 and as of late, BB-8.

Over at dinner we spoke about leadership. I shared my experiences being under difficult managers. He spoke about insecurities and the corporate world has forgotten how fallible we are to a point that we have become very unforgiving.

He asked me, “Do you ever remember when certain things that you built did not work and I shouted or breathed (profanities) down your throat?”

I replied, “Never”.

He continued, “Instead, the approach I used was very respectful. I would say – this or that didn’t quite work and I must have missed something. Can you have a look at it and fix it please?”

I nodded.

“In that tone and approach, you felt compelled to make it work. I always believed that no one wakes up in the morning wanting to do a bad job”, he said.

And out of no where, he said, “Think of SPEAR”.

Selection, Purpose, Enablement, Authority, Recognition.

Selection:
Picking the right people for the job and trusting them (fully) to get the job done.

Purpose:
Whenever needed give directions – what is the end game. Clear and achievable deliverables.

Enablement:
Give those you lead the tools, knowledge, and skills they need to excel in their job.

Authority:
Empower those you lead. Give them the authority to make decisions that they think and feel will get them to the goals.

Recognition:
Always giving credit where credit is due. Reward them for a job well done.

Bossman always believe in respecting everyone as unique individuals and when we all first started working for him, he took time to learn how best to interact with each of us and made it very clear how he like us working with him. That was the first thing he established with the team.

The world is filled with many incompetent “leaders and managers” who does not know better. Perhaps it was how they were “brought up” while climbing the corporate ladder. Their managers were cruel to them and they too become cruel managers. For some, it could be climbing the corporate ladder too fast without acquiring the skills needed to lead or manage.

It is always nice to have bossman visit every once in a while and pick his brain.

Two hours dinner and I learned about SPEAR…

Staying Afloat

There has been many ups and downs the past 6 months. All the changes and stress brought about great anxiety and depression. I was really glad that I was able to seek help in time and now, things has been under control.

It has always been breaking out of the thought process for me. I believe this is the same for most suffering from mental health issues. We tend to spiral into this oblivion and get stuck in a loop.

Sometimes it is the distractions and keeping oneself busy that we are able to break out of that vicious thought process. The idle mind is the devil’s playground they’d say.

Many things can offer a new perspective. Doing something different is a good start. Albert Einstein did define insanity as doing the same thing expecting different results.

The recovery process takes time like everything else in the world.

As the year end approaches, there has been many movies being released. One of those are Frozen 2. Many of us dread the sequels to movies because very often they are not as good as their predecessors. Like many, I received a mixed review of Frozen 2 but went ahead to watch it with the family anyway.

[Spoiler Alert]

“The Next Right Thing”

The gist of the movie is the inspiration Anna provides for the down trodden and those faced with challenges in life. I felt that the creator of the movie has really put a lot of thought to bring about consolation and offer solution to a common problem faced by humanity today.

Most of us especially those battling mental health issues can relate to what Anna has to say/sing about overcoming predicaments.

“You are lost, hope is gone, but you must go on and do the next right thing” is the statement that sums up the entire movie for me.

Often times, we are not able to envision where life is heading to. We cannot change the past and the future is yet unknown. All we can do is take a day at time by doing the next right thing.

I hope you’ll find the light at the end of the tunnel if you are currently facing challenges in life.

We all need to heal somehow…

Uninspired

I wish that I could see where the road of life is heading for me. I am just suppressing my true feelings just to take it a day at a time. Like many before me, I feel like a fake.

But how can you not have a part of you that is fake when it is what you need to be in order to sustain your livelihood.

Job satisfaction is hard to come by. Trust me as I had been in the best fit and is now finding myself in “the grind”. It has became just a job.

I live each day coping and hoping that I will see better days. But of course, compared to many, it seemed to be a good life that I should not be complaining about.

I just want things to get better and sometimes it is too much to ask.

How can we ever get clarity on life when all the energy we have is spent on what is right in front of us?

Is this all there is to life?

Where do I begin again?

Here I Am Again

It feels like the soul is totally out of sync with my physical self. It feels like there is no meaning to what I am doing. The frustration of not knowing if I am on the right track adds to the feeling of inadequacy. I cannot see myself coming out from the darkness of this tunnel. I just don’t see the light that tells me that there is an end to this hardship.

It is impossible for me to see my value in all of this let alone find enjoyment and fulfillment in all that I am doing. It is the toughest thing for one to go through not knowing one’s worth in the grandest scheme of things.

All I know is, I used to be on the go and excel in delivering what is expected and required of me. Now, being desk bound is akin to caging up a stallion in a small stall hardly being able to maneuver around let alone run a good race.

I want to see some output and delivery so bady. I want to take pride in solving problems, going through the journey of materializing the solution, and being able to take a step back to feel the sense of fulfillment seeing what I have created.

A stagnated journey is excruciatingly painful when I am so used to being in motion all the time.

All I can do now is sit here and cry out, “God, please tame this raging desire”.

I hope help will soon arrive because in all the quietness, I want to scream!

Lord Jesus, help me!

What is humanity?

“Faith in humanity restored”

I get chills when I read this. This is the stupidest statement in the world. It is like organic vegetables selling at a premium price when all vegetables should be organically grown in the first place.

What has the world become?

A friend of mine is now jobless only after 2.5 months working at his new company. Knowing the person he is, there is no way that he did not perform well with his calibre as stated on the termination letter.

It was clearly a case of biasness on the part of his manager.

This human element of things is getting out of hand. It no longer matters if you are high performing. If you are not favored, it is the end of the line for you.

There will be no sense and rational decision if you are not well liked by the people around you.

Is that how we are made?

We now need to go the extra mile to be kind to one another just so that we can restore someone else’ faith in humanity?

But taking a shit is like second nature to all of us so why can’t we do the same with empathy, kindness, love, respect, and compassion?

I don’t believe in “what goes around comes around” anymore. This going round and round has got to stop.

Soul Searching

I do not quite know where to begin. Perhaps I am an ingrate but one thing for sure, I am an impatient person. I get bored really fast. Like right now, though I have a few regrets leaving my previous job, I should count my blessings to be back in the organization.

This is the first time that I am trying to convince myself on a daily basis to what I believe is second best. “Beggars cannot be choosers” they’d say. Am I underestimating myself or I should just bite the bullet while waiting for better opportunities.

Perhaps I am allowing my past to ruin my future. Perhaps this is a phase for me to learn not to be envious of others. I really do not know.

I find myself trying to console and reassuring myself that this is life moving forward while another voice is mocking me for my poor (past) decisions.

I really wish I could live life without regrets right now but it is easier said than done.

I don’t find myself happy anymore. I have to constantly subdue that part of me that is screaming because of this lack of passion.

I keep telling myself that patience will get me through this less than desirable (perceived) situation.

A heart that is once free is really hard to tame.

I miss those long haul flights that I can be quiet alone. I miss all those on-the-go times when I can be fluid and excel at the same time.

The hardest part is asking myself what’s stopping me from achieving what I truly want in life.

After what I have been through, there is fear.

Maybe when I get better at what I am suppose to do, life will once again be better. And with the knowledge and skills acquired, there will be more doors that will be unlocked.

What is life without opportunities?

Perhaps it is time to just ride through the wave for now.

A retreat and to recollect…