What’s The Point?

Throughout my working life, some of the roles I held required me to participate in business entertainment activities. These minus the few drinks happen to be my most hated activities. One of the usual items that grace such activities is the presence of the bar girls. For the life of me, I just do not understand the need for skimpily dressed girls to be part of the entertainment. The way the girls are treated as objects and items do not fail to irk me especially how strong able men make their “orders” for them.

When I look at the girls embraced and groped by the married men around me, many thoughts flash through my mind.

Where have the society gone wrong?

Have we failed to protect the weak?

Don’t the girls belong to someone – a daughter, a grand-daughter, and a sister?

Have we taught men to be domineering?

I feel absolutely disgusted at how value-less these men made the girls to be. It is also apparent that some of the younger girls were in great distress and discomfort.

And what these men do the day after?

They tend to boast about how wonderful their lives were for the few hours spent being accompanied by an “exotic” foreign girl at the bar.

What’s the point?

I find such so-called “business entertainment” absolutely pointless. Why can’t it just be a discussion over a few drinks and a handshake to seal the deal?

After all, the girls have no role and are irrelevant in the decision making process to purchase either a service, a property, or a product.

I feel that psychologically and spiritually, the girls’ real selves die a little with every client. Men who seek out for their services are responsible for “murdering” their poor little souls.

Not too long ago, there was a tagline used by a TV channel that goes, “when the buying stops, the killing can too”. Looking at how girls are treated no more than commodities and sometimes an exotic animal, the tagline seemed to be relevant.

Whenever asked if I am interested, I have always declined. In some instances, I have put up an unapproachable front that sent girls scurrying away. I am not easily influenced and I have no qualms with being laughed at by the rest of the ego filled men. I am strong enough to be seated alone without a stranger (girl) beside me. I am not about to ruin what I have built throughout the decades just for a couple of pointless minutes or hours spent with a stranger. Say whatever, I have nothing to do with killing the spirit of an innocent girl.

On the contrary, I pray that the girls will one day find their dignity and self respect once again. No doubt, the struggles in this world is real but I only have my faith to keep me grounded.

Nothing feels more empowering for a man than having the full trust of his wife and be able to face the world without her worrying he will fall into temptation. Very often, I always have the last laugh because the people mocking me for not “having fun” are the same ones required to “report back” to their wives their daily activities. Goes to show the level of trust they have in their relationships.

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'”~Matthew 25:40




To manage my fear of public speaking and presentation, I was given a statement to help with my thought process and internal rationalization. It is the statement by Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus that goes “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king“.

There are two sides to this saying – positive and negative. In terms of a presentation, it is either an opportunity to hoodwink (negative) the audience or impart valuable knowledge (positive) upon them.

As I look at life in a broader sense, I noticed that very often that those with a little more experience and knowledge in life seemed to be at the forefront. Some are natural visionaries while others achieve their successes through laborious trial and error.

I also believe that wisdom plays a pivotal role in recognizing a good vision so that it can be acted upon.

As of late, I constantly gave thought as to where I am currently in life. I just cannot settle with the monotonous routine of the job and living paycheck to paycheck. My remuneration seemed to have been capped and have not grown much through the years while inflation and service taxes are choking the regular white-collar worker.

Is life an “one size fits all” experience?

Honestly, I am feeling a little uncomfortable not having much control over life in terms of what lies ahead. There seem to be no clarity and vision moving forward since I am stuck at the present. I truly envy those who have it all figured out. There is just so much to learn from people who are now talking about purchasing huge lands and building a custom designed home.

But here I am, struggling without a clear goal of where I can go and what I can achieve. Looks like I need to redefine my desires and identify the ways in which I can attain them.

I do pray for the gift of sight and wisdom to discern.

Perhaps one day, I can claim to be that “One-eyed King” in this land of the blind. Not to hoodwink but share, cultivate, and grow with it…


The Paraclete

When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken. ~ Acts 2:6

We celebrated Pentecost Sunday this weekend. The priest had a different perspective in describing what happened when the Holy Spirit descended unto the disciples. Instead of focusing on them receiving the gifts (of speaking in tongues), he drew our attention to the listeners instead. Are we able to hear, listen, understand, and relate to one another?

He ended his sermon urging us not to talk too much but pay more attention to listening to one another.

Like always, I thought it was rather ingenious of him to look at the readings in such a perspective. We have indeed lost touch with each other because most of the time it is all about the “me, myself, & I”. Whether we like it or otherwise, social networking promotes just that – self glorification. We seek the attention of our vast “social network” followers and try to outdo each other in living our lives.

More often than not, we craft a fake identity just so that we do not feel inferior for not attaining the same success of others. Unbeknownst to us, what we observe about our friends through social networks can be further from the truth and since everyone suffers in silence most of the time, we will almost never see someone promoting the difficulties he or she is going through on their social network account.

This weekend, I went through what some are calling “digital de-cluttering”. I spent some time installing a “timeline cleaner”. I left the script to run overnight, and it cleaned up my entire social networking account all the way to the last post I added the day my “virtual” life first begun.

In the long process, I came to realize that vast amount of storage I was taking up somewhere in silicon valley has almost no value – the endless ramblings, likes, dislikes, and everything in between. I wondered why the social networking companies are so proud to share how storage devices are added on a daily basis to store the world’s nonsense.

As I shared what I was doing with a friend, he was puzzled and pointed out to me that he likes looking back to significant events in his life on his social networking account. I guess I ought to feel that I have just buried my past since my social networking account defines me as a human.

But no, I feel totally liberated and light knowing that I have a squeaky clean timeline. I can start my “virtual life” all over again. I felt empowered because I have the power to reclaim my real life without placing my entire life in a storage in an unknown location under the anonymity called “the cloud”. In other words, I have decided not to give my life away to social networking.

It is time we engage in real conversations – face to face. We need to look into the eyes of the other person and have that conversation. As much as we want to speak and share the truth, we must also listen. When we post that new status, it is often one-way and it may not be the same “lingo” we all understand.

If we can hold a proper two-way conversations, why place a mobile device in between our conversations, then?

We see and hear only what we want. It is only when we truly listen and observe, we are shown the beauty in everything.
We see and hear only what we want. It is only when we truly listen and observe, we are shown the beauty in everything.

Reminder of Death

As I grow older, I realize that funerals are becoming more frequent. And each death in the family serves as a reminder that soon, it will be me lying lifeless in the coffin.

The funeral I attended yesterday begged a few questions.

“Am I ready to go?”

“Have I fulfilled my purpose?”

“What more can I do on earth while I am still alive?”

Whenever I see those around me being complacent, resigned, and helpless, I cannot help but to feel frustrated because very often, they have not been begin the opportunity or not given themselves the chance to embrace their full potential.

I understand that everyone’s existence brings about a purpose in this huge ecosystem. We are at a place and at a time that is precisely and profoundly planned. It is by no accident that we come into contact with the person we met a couple of days ago and having that  particular conversation.

The Broadway musical Wicked defines relationships and human interactions most accurately. “For Good” is one of the songs in this musical that strikes a chord while we are on the subject of people crossing paths.

Have we touch the lives we are suppose to?

Have we made someone else feel happy today?

Perhaps death marks the completion of our purposes?

Perhaps those who died having unfinished businesses are just overachievers who are going above and beyond their purposes?

Whatever it may be and whether or not we will be able to figure out the meaning of death, I believe we ought to first find the meaning of living life to the fullest. And come what may, at least we can rest in eternal peace knowing that we have a life well lived…