Below is my amateurish attempt in creating a photo with the Droste Effect – the subject that seemed to be within itself.
In the computer programming world, I would think that this is called an un-terminated or infinite loop – something that all programmers would avoid at all cost because it is a state where the computer program executes endlessly.
Today is one of those days that I felt depressed, trapped, and lost all reasons to be happy. In fact, I just couldn’t find that little tingling of happiness in my heart. I felt that I was going in circles just like an infinite loop. It seemed to happen more often now and worse, each relapse seemed to be getting much more intense. There is a great sense of mixed feeling and at some point fear.
The fear of fearing the fear. In other words, infinite loop of fear.
I guess it started yesterday.
Yesterday gave me reasons to believe that cybernetic organism will never ever happen. My mind as it already is very random. My days can be very emotionally charged and to a point of turmoil. The reason being, each time I see something familiar, my mind flashes an image from the past. You can imagine that most of the time, there are thousands of images that flashes through my mind. The worst part of it all is that, each image comes with an emotion. In short, I go through so many emotions in a day, it can be very draining.
Now back to the reason why I think the concept of cybernetic organism would fail. What sets us apart is the emotional aspect. A computer have the Random Access Memory (RAM) that allows it to access information in fractions of a nanosecond. What if an emotion is attached to each piece of information that the computer accesses through the RAM? Imagine how emotionally fuelled a cybernetic organism would be. Will it be able to withstand such intense emotional charge?
And so, the struggle continues to gain focus and catches the little happiness in the midst of this emotional spiral turmoil…