Why Not Me?

How often do we ask ourselves – Why Not Me?

Witnessing a fellow colleague being promoted or even seeing a friend getting married (when we are still single) may be a couple of examples that trigger us to ask ourselves the question – Why Not Me?

This is just a different variation of common questions we ask when we compare ourselves to others. We tend to feel sorry for ourselves because that is the easiest way to get out of the situation. The world at large is very selfish in nature and the best way to avoid taking ownership of situations is to convince ourselves that “it is not my problem”.

The corporate world can be filled with people who wants recognition, power, and glory but most are not willing to work for it.

It is very common to see people who are reluctant to speak up but have so much desires hidden in their hearts.

Most of us have aspirations and inspirations to be “somebody” but the small seed of doubt will always make us recoil into our fearful self.

I believe that no one have the rights to ask “Why Not Me” when he/she do not at least work towards achieving his/her goals. I have seen first hand the type of employees that are resentful and envious when others do better than them. That is just because they have not made their goals and desires known to their superiors and seek assistance in attaining them.

Up to this point in my life, I have never encountered anyone who can read my mind and likewise, no one will know the problems others are facing or the desires of someone else’s heart if they are kept to oneself. When things do not go in accordance to his/her way, no one should be blamed except oneself.

Most of us are always quietly seeking affirmation and validation but I believe that should not be the way. One must be clear in knowing what he/she wants, seek or work towards the objectives/goals and then claim the fruit of his/her labour when the hard work pays off.

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” ~ Matthew 7:7

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When Purpose & Secret Collide

I have been reading quite a number of self-help books in the past. The list of books included (but not limited to) “The Purpose Driven Life” and “The Secret”. I noticed that after the release of these two titles, most self-help books started following the bandwagon with contents surrounding the topics written in them. I found myself being pounded by nothing else except “PURPOSE” and “VISUALIZATION”.

In fact, I found nothing new in what was written in The Secret because it was already stated in the Bible in Mark 11:24 and I quote:

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” ~ Mark 11:24

I am not writing this post to argue and dispute which religion is “truer” than the other. Contrary to that, no matter your religion or beliefs, the sole objective of me writing this piece is to further simplify the concepts presented in most modern day self-help books.

As I mentioned, most self-help books are very good in emphasizing the importance of living a life with purpose. I have read about it so much that I started feeling rather confused. They somehow fell short of presenting the gist of “how” to achieve that purposeful life we are seeking for. I must say that it is a good start to get me thinking about the how and I believe it may be different from individual to individual.

So, what is our purpose?

Is there a generic purpose when we are all made to being?

No self-help book will be able to tell us what is our purpose in life and if there is any, it will be labelled as blasphemy. Believe it or not, in writing this post, I may just be the first to start the blasphemy bandwagon.

Since everyone including myself have the rights to express an opinion, I am indeed opined that we are all special in our own rights. It is as simple as that we are each a blessing in this world. We are blessed with talents and weaknesses.

There must be a “fundamental” purpose for each and every one of us. I believe that “fundamental” purpose is to be a blessing to the world no matter where we are and in whichever circumstances we are born into.

When overwhelmed by the demands of life, how often do we ask ourselves the question why are we not born into a better or richer family?

I used to ask this question a lot after observing how “lucky” some people are – free from debt, have all the resources without the need to work for them and owning all the latest luxury cars most can only dream about. We tend to compare ourselves with others in terms of tangible materials and feel inferior admiring superficial and whatever that is on the surface.

Then, I realized something very profound thinking about how fortunate and blessed my children are and by sharing my observation, I hope it serves as an example of the point that I am trying to present here.

Although I am not rich nor am I born into a rich family, I see my children to be very lucky to have been blessed in many aspects other than material things. And because they are so blessed, somehow I feel that I am (indirectly) blessed as well. Something tells me that in order for my children to be blessed, their blessings are obtained through me. I often count my blessings for being given a wonderful job when it can be impossible. To put things into perspective, there are so many jobs in the market and it is quite amazing how it is fated/destined for me to be “given” this one.

I do not consider myself a “visionary” since I will not be able to tell you exactly what I want in the next 3, 5 or 10 years. Like most people, and the reason I believe why most of us resort to reading self-help books to seek answers is that we have lost all clarity of who we truly are – strengths and weaknesses. It can also be a case of us not knowing what is out there and therefore, unable to plan, desire or set goals that are achievable within a short, medium or long term. Perhaps, we are unable to find a place to utilize our strengths and improve our weaknesses to begin with. In short, our surroundings are not conducive enough for us to exercise our maximum potential.

So where do we even begin in this world that overwhelms us with so much unnecessary information and one that bombards us with so much distractions?

Be a blessing. It is that simple.

Forget about being a blessing to the world at large, just be a blessing in whatever capacity you are able. Be a blessing to your parents, children, friends, co-workers, or even a stranger.

We have seen a lot of “pay it forward” situations and I believe that can be a good start at being a blessing to others.

Once you have discover how to use yourself as a blessing to others, you will soon discover your life’s purpose. The purpose will be clear and that in itself will be your vision, your objective and goal so to speak.

I am sure that there is at least an instance in your life that you have a strong desire for something. For those of you who are married, remember the first notion of desire you have for your spouse? And how that blossomed into a relationship?

That’s what The Secret is all about. When you desire for something so strongly, you will eventually obtain it – one way or the other. Somehow and some way, you will seek and exhaust all resources to obtain what you desire strongly for.

I believe that this is how we can put both “The Purpose Driven Life” and “The Secret” in practical use in our lives.

While driving back from work today, I had an idea. The idea was to write this article. But it started with the word “purpose” and up to this point, I have written 999 words to be exact.

I wish you all the success in discovering and realizing your purpose in life!

I never thought that in this lifetime, I will live to see one of the wonders of the world. But I was blessed to meet the Grand Canyon in person!
I never thought that in this lifetime, I will live to see one of the wonders of the world. But I was blessed to meet the Grand Canyon in person!